It's been a while!
I took a spontaneous break from DeviantART because it was crowding up my mind, and I had lost interest in giving a crap about it. I'll probably delete all 3000 notifications and a lot if not most of my deviations, and then start over. I don't have the time right now, but hopefully it will be very soon.
I just want to say that things have changed dramatically for me in a good way.
I thought after six years of depression that art would be easy again, but it wasn't. If anything, it got even more difficult, because it still wasn't happening and I didn't know why.
But then something magical happened.
Apocalyptica released a song called Shadowmaker, and my emotions and my characters/OCs suddenly knew what to do. I would sit and listen to this song on repeat all day and just imagine the most incredible stories I've ever seen.
And then they released more songs and it got even more intense, I learnt more about my OCs, what they mean and why they exist. I know now that I need to express my old feelings before I can move on.
Then something a million times more magical happened!
Last month I was invited to a secret party in London to listen to Apocalyptica's new album before its release date. The band played some live songs, then we were all free to listen to the new album as we wanted. Oh, it was in a Pathology museum by the way, I wish I was making this shit up :'D
I loved talking to the guys again, and I finally managed to actually speak to Eicca. Yes I've met him a million times before, but I'd barely got a damn bit of sense out of my mouth before now. Sure plenty of "aww you're shy" pity hugs are nice, but I wanted to actually talk
to him. I've looked up to him since I was a child.
Anyway, we spoke about a few things, and then he asked me what I thought of the album. Hard to say after one listen, so I told him I love that they always dare to try new things and play from the heart, and that the songs that had been released had already evoked a lot of strong creative feelings from me that I will put into art and you know what? He said that I should bring some to the next show I go to and that he wanted to see it, all enthusiastic like, and I mildly freaked out and said "Oh wow okay um, I just hope it doesn't scare you" and he just looked me dead in the eye and said "Be brave. You know, that was our motto for this album. Just be brave. Bring it along!" and I bloody shook his hand on it. I was so chuffed I couldn't help but ask him for another hug, so he cuddled me. It was one of those super long "I'm comforting you" type of cuddles, like the one he gave me when I was fifteen and terrified. I've never ever met anyone else quite like this guy, he actually gives a fuck about people.
Even the most random of randomers.
Sure I'm not exactly one of those anymore, but I was once, and he still showed me compassion even then.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble too much but basically, life = made, now I feel like I can take over the world! I look forward to sharing my new project not only with Eicca but with you here on deviantART! It will be my take on what a Shadowmaker is. I have uploaded a few scribbles here and there on my facebook page, and on my tumblr. On tumblr you can also read the rest of what happened at the party.
Here are the links:FacebookTumblrApocalyptica's album party
See you around my dears! I'm excited to come back here soon
P.S. here's some silly photos of us that night